conflict

Ed Evarts

Raise Your Visibility & Value: Play the Hand You Have Been Dealt

Posted on by Ed Evarts

I am working with a client who does not like the relationship she has with her boss. Not having a great relationship with your boss is a very common experience and this is important because the most important relationship you have in your workplace is with your boss.

In many ways, your work experience is like a poker hand. In a poker game, you randomly get a hand of cards, whether you like them or not. In the work environment, you get a work experience, whether you like it or not. Similar to a poker hand, you have three options to change your work environment:

  • Fold. Make a decision that this is not the place for you and you cannot make your work experience any better. Fold and move on.
  • Bluff. Make a decision that you want to stay, yet you are going to use valuable energy to make your work environment appear to be better than it is.
  • Act. Make a decision that you want to stay and you need to take action to improve your work environment.

Some of you will decide to fold. You believe that your work environment cannot get better and you prefer to put your energy in a new workplace. Some of you are bluffers. I don’t like this strategy as you are avoiding the inevitable. It may feel good short-term, yet bluffing takes too much energy and bluffing will fail long-term. When I work with clients, we work on taking action. We identify conversations you can have and next steps you might take in order to improve your work environment. This is tough, yet, if you want to take action to improve your work environment, it is worth the effort.

Changing your work environment for the better is a great way to add value to your organization. Not only is your work experience better, it is better for many others.

Ed Evarts

Raise Your Visibility & Value: Avoid Conflict by Seeking First to Understand

Posted on by Ed Evarts

I would estimate that 90% of my clients are avoiding a conflict-based conversation. Who can blame them? Not only are conflict-based conversations uncomfortable, these individuals have experienced ZERO training in how to effectively manage conflict in the workplace.

Most successful leaders would tell you that conflict is good. Respectfully discussing opposing opinions or deficient performance in proactive and healthy ways are good for an organization. Some clients (although only a handful) love conflict! They see conflict-based conversations as a great way to make significant progress in resolving problems and building relationships.

One of the best strategies to manage a potentially conflict-based conversation is to follow Steven Covey’s fifth habit of highly effective people – Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Most folks go into a conflict-based conversation with their guns blaring. They believe they have an argument to win and they intend on winning it! In reality, the more you know about how your colleague feels about a situation, the better position you are in to handle your differences respectfully.

Next time you have a difficult topic to discuss with a colleague, start the conversation with the following questions:

  • Can you tell me why you feel this way?
  • Why do you believe this is the best way for us to move forward?
  • Are you open to hearing other options that might work equally as well?

I guarantee you will have a better conversation, your colleague will be very surprised by your strategy to understand before being understood, and your will raise your visibility as a leader who manages conflict proactively and respectfully.